Friday, August 1, 2008

Balls are too big, and they're hurting my back (and "Jason Bourne's", too)

Back pain. If you'd had the unfortunate experience of trying to ride or move with back pain, you can feel - no pun intended - this post.

At first I thought my lower back pain was from lifting YamaLinks into the back of the Tacoma. Kind of a high bed, but not that bad. Then I thought it was from my Jason Bourne super secret government assassin workout program, what with its crazy amount of running and dodging cars and jumping through glass windows and wearing thick wool sweaters. Nope.

It's from my big balls. The inflatable balls that are supposed to be good for your back. I use them to sit at this trusty ol' HP 531w computer (purchased 7 years ago, and it's slower than a scooter with a flat rear tire and water in the carb), and I think they're making me slouch to the point my vertebrae are all jacked up. There's no way the government is going to accept my application with a bad back!

I took some air out of one ball but it didn't work. 12psi is too much. 10 psi not enough. You'd think 11 would be just right. So I put more/less air in the other ball but no such luck. , but obviously not all balls are created equal. I've fiddled with both balls non-stop over the past few days trying to get the feel just right but I'm about to give up and go back to a chair.

If anyone has any tips on what air pressure I should have my balls set at please email me. Seriously.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Seinfeld "The Mentor" turns into "Elaine's Dance Kicks"

During last night's dinner of so-so tasting non-wild salmon and leeks (in my defense the kitchen was new and I had no idea how the food would cook, blah) it was mentioned that this certain someone had a mentor at work. You know, someone who tells someone less experienced the career path they should take.

"You mean like the Seinfeld episode," I said in my best monotone voice, the voice which is always a warm-up to thiiiick sarcasm.

This certain someone, while not defensive, did mention the positives of having a mentor: the way you should stand in the hall so the boss thinks you're smart, the way you should fake laugh at meetings so the boss thinks you have a sense of humor.


Unfortunately I could not find a video on YouTube about the Seinfeld Mentor episode, but I did fine something equally as hilarious. Enjoy.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Coolest city name we've shipped to....

Read more about Jimboomba
...or just repeat it over and over and over to your coworkers.

"So, uh, (insert your name HERE), what'd you think of the meeting/what should we get for lunch/how was your ride this weekend?"

"Eh, it was Jimboomba."

Monday, July 28, 2008

Coming to America and staying at a Clarino...

Remember that classic movie, "Coming to America." Where there was a restaurant with altered golden arches. McDowell's, I believe it was called.

*If you're sensitive to swear words, plaid uniforms or anything related to Soul Glo, do NOT click the start of the video.

Anywho, there's a reason for posting a funky video from Eddie Murphy's prime: A Yamaha WR250X rider/customer sent us a quick email about a recent stayover....

"The hotel I stayed in was cheap and clean, but kinda sketchy. It was called "Clarino" and had huge letters on the top floor of the building that were illuminated at night. I thought, "hmmm, it's so similar to Clarion." Well, upon walking to my room, there were "Clarion" floor mats and other Clarion signs throughout the hotel. So, this place was obviously a Clarion hotel previously, but who ever purchased it simply switched the large letters on the top of the building to read "Clarino." I was looking forward to the advertised pool, hot tub, and workout facility. Ok, there were some treadmills, that seemed ok and one lady was in there using one, but the multi-use strength machine was so rusty, broke down, and unusable, I thought I would contract tetanus just by looking at it. Oh, then the pool room was locked with a notice posted by the city stating that the facility was deemed unfit/unsafe for public use. Awesome to the max."

Millville National Prediction: Ben Evans

I have a bold prediction for the Lites class in two weeks. Making his AMA pro debut, newcomer and former Loretta Lynn's/Canadian outdoor winner phenom Ben Evans will make the top 10. And seeing as how Canard won't be there, if by chance Ben gets lapped he should at least be allowed to finish. Kidding, Trey.

Blue Ribbon Coaliton membership giveaway starts now...

This is being posted in the WR Yamaha Thumper Talk forums within moments of each other. The first US resident to answer the question will receive a Blue Ribbon Coalition Gift Membership (which includes a subscription to their magazine). There is no catch other than to answer this….

According to the BRC site, when was the Blue Ribbon Coalition born?

Based on the Thumper Talk time stamp, I’ll contact the first correct answerer via PM to get their mailing address, and we’ll submit the info on the site.

According to the BRC site, you will be sent a welcome packet with your membership card, pin, decals, and a helpful booklet of information about grassroots advocacy. This may take up to six weeks, so please be patient. You should also be receiving your first issue of BlueRibbon Magazine within 4-6 weeks.